-CAT JOKES-
What do cats like on a hot day?
A mice cream cone.

What do cats like on their hot dogs?
Mouse-tard.

What do cats like to eat for breakfast?
Mice Krispies.

What do you call a cat that lives in the desert?
Sandy Claws.

What do you call a cat that sucks on lemons?
A sourpuss.

What has more lives than a cat?
A frog. It croaks every night.

What kind of cats like to go bowling?
Alley cats.

What magazine do cats like to read?
Good Mousekeeping.

What do you get when you cross a black cat with a lemon.
A sour-puss.

How to cats greet each other at Christmas?
"A furry merry Christmas & Happy mew year!"

Did you hear about the cat who drank 5 bowls of water?
He set a new lap record.

Did you hear about the cat who swallowed a ball of wool?
She had mittens.

What is the difference between a cat and a comma?
One has the paws before the claws and the other has the clause before the pause.

What do you get when you cross a chick with an alley cat?
A peeping tom.

Why don't cats play poker in the jungle?
Too many cheetahs.
Is your cat waking up earlier and earlier every day to be fed? If you oblige your cat, you are reinforcing this behavior. Consider keeping the bedroom off-limits for your feline friend. After a few mornings of noise outside your door, your cat will learn that she can no longer set the feeding schedule.
"The whir of a can opener or the bark of an unfamiliar dog...will send even the most deeply dozing cat bounding into the kitchen or under the bed." ~ Barbara L. Diamond